This pregnancy had been super stressful for numerous reasons, most that I will not get into here and now. one of the resons for the stress, though, occurred later on in the pregnancy when I suspected that I had cholestasis of pregnancy due to extreme itchiness (like extreme, like in tears and writhing because of the itchiness). I was tested at 36 weeks and my blood work came back fine. My bile acid levels were at a 5.2, still in in the normal range. Because we suspected cholestasis based on symptoms and because we tested once, I had to keep getting weekly tests. Each week, Nancy my midwife spent a lot of time checking baby also, making sure that he was moving, having accelerations and that he was reactive. He passed each week. Week 37, my bile acid levels were a 5.6 and the week after that, at 38 weeks, they were a 9.2. And this was it. At this point, I knew that they were going to continue to rise. Nancy and I had talked about all of the possibilities. She walked me through what would happen should I become diagnosable- which is when your bile acids get to 10 or above. When we first suspected cholestasis, she had me try some home remedies to help my liver. In addition to that, I also started taking a medication that was supposed to help keep levels down and also hopefully help reduce the itchiness. I'd like to think that those things did work in that my levels stayed pretty low. But we weren't sure it would be enough. Cholestasis, though uncomfortable for the pregnant mother, is really more dangerous for the baby. It can cause the placenta to age quicker than it should, thus putting the baby at risk. There are some studies to suggest that it increases chances of having a stillborn baby and most women diagnosed are induced at around 37 weeks pregnant, unless their numbers get really high (into the hundreds) in which case some are induced as early as 35 weeks. If a woman is diagnosed after 37 weeks, usual protocol is that a woman is induced as soon as she is diagnosed for the safety of her baby, however, if the levels are low enough, some doctors will allow a woman to go up to their due date. Nancy wanted me to be prepared that it would be possible that I would have to be induced and deliver in the hospital. That was not a part of my plan, but I accepted that it could be a possibility and packed a hospital bag just in case.
On Saturday, January 4th, I had a beautiful Mother's Blessing, or as some call it, a Blessingway, hosted by my beautiful friend, Lila. This celebration of motherhood and more specifically, my motherhood, was just what I needed. I'll be honest, I was a little worried that I would feel uncomfortable being the center of attention, but I didn't at all. I felt so loved and supported by all that came. I was incredibly grateful and felt so much love for each and every person who came. And I felt loved by them all. During the blessing, my friends and family gave me beads and talked about what those particular beads meant and why they gave them to me. We laughed and we cried as they were explaining their beads. I absolutely appreciated all of the thought and the effort that went into the beads that they chose and I love that I get to have them as a reminder of the love and support of these women. I mention this because I thought about some of those things as I was laboring. That this was a beautiful season in my life, that I was strong and capable, and a protector over my children, that I am unique and beautiful, that I can endure through this. These are just some of the things that were said and that the beads represent.
But before begin the actual birth story, I want to mention more about the blessing. So while there, I let everyone know that I needed the baby to come no later than Wednesday or Thursday. I was pretty sure my bile acid levels were going to increase this time and that if they did, I knew that that was going to play a huge part in how and where I would labor and deliver my baby. So I asked for all the prayers, well-wishes, happy vibes and positive thoughts I could get because he could not come any later than that Thursday, at which time I would be 39 weeks exactly.
I had an appointment scheduled with Nancy for Tuesday. On Tuesday, again we discussed all of the possibilites and what may potentially have to happen. Nancy knew, though, that even if my levels didn't increase this time, she didn't want me going past my due date. My blood pressure was every so slightly increased, but that didn't concern her so much and she figured it was due to my weight (I had put on a lot of weight- weighing more than I had every weighed before in any other pregnancy). But she also wanted to play it safe. So the plan was to try for gentle induction so that I could deliver my baby before or by his due date. She checked my cervix and I was 2 centimeters dilated. She scheduled for me to come in again on Friday. I was going to go get my bile acids tested again that day and we expected the results to come on Thursday afternoon, which is why she had me come in on Friday instead of waiting until the following week. The results would inform what the next course of action would, but at that moment, Nancy would plan to sweep my membranes on Friday. If I needed to deliver in the hospital, she would help me labor at home for as long as possible before having me head to the hospital for delivery. But my goal was to not make it that long. My goal was to have the baby by Thursday.
Wednesday, I decided to declare it. I just put it out there. I told my sisters that I was going to have the baby on Thursday, even though there were no real signs of labor. It had to be so. I said out loud that the baby was going to come the next day. I spoke to the baby as I rubbed my belly and told him that I needed him to come the next day and I prayed and prayed fervently that he would come on time. But I went to bed Wednesday night with no signs of labor or baby coming at all.
At around 1:50 that night (or early the next morning- however you want to describe it), Jeff woke me up by talking in his sleep. As I tried going back to sleep, I could feel contractions. I laid there for a few minutes and they continued to come. I rolled over onto my side and still continued to feel them all the while trying to determine if these were real contractions or Braxton Hicks.A few minutes later, I told Jeff, who woke again woke up talking in his sleep, that I was having contractions. His response, "Are you serious?" (The first words for now three out of five labors, I believe). He got up with me and we started moving around doing stuff. I went to the bathroom, and decided to call Nancy, as the contractions were like 3 minutes apart. Well, since I didn't sound like I was in real labor (I never really do, I realized until right before I'm getting ready to have the baby), Nancy asked me to call her back in 20 or 30 minutes if they continued or got worse. I called her back because they continued. Again, together, all of us including Jeff, decided it would be better for her to wait. I called one last time around 5 am, after I made my labor tea, and she suggested that I rest and see if the contractions slow down or stop. So I did.... after I did a few more things, I got in bed and rested and I was even able to get some sleep. Jeff's alarm went off at 6:00 am so I decided to get up. I moved around, cleaning or whatever and decided at this point to just send a text update to Nancy:
6:26am
"Just wanted to give you a little update. My contractions have slowed down considerably while resting. I was even able to sleep between and decided not worry about tracking them. Jeff is trying to determine if he can. should go to work this morning. So I tracked the last three. They were 8, 7, and 6.5 minutes apart. I told him that I think the baby could still come today, but I just don't know when or how soon..."
Jeff got in touch with is job and decided to stay since, you know, birth is so unpredictable. I rested in the too-small-for my-long-body recliner in my bedroom. Jeff got up with the kids. I was grateful for the rest.
I woke up and went to the bathroom. I texted Nancy again at 8:59am
"Another update: bloody show, but contractions are still anywhere from 6-10 minutes apart right now. They do seem to be getting a little strong. I'll keep you posted and if they get closer/stronger, I'll call. I feel bad about calling you in the middle of the night when you could have been sleeping. :("
Jeff was trying to decide what to do with his day. I had already texted my sisters and told them that I thought the baby was coming. I told him that he'd be here by the evening. So he left and did a few things. I talked to my sister, Monica, on Marco Polo and she guessed he'd be here by 7:30pm. My sister-in-law, Tracy and I also were sending Marco Polos back and forth. The contractions were really mild this whole time, but they also continued to slow down. I rested some, cleaned, and even decided to hoist myself up into the attic, which was no easy feat considering how pregnant and large I was. I almost knocked the ladder down (which would have caused me to fall, which would have been very bad. But I got up and down safely in the end.
At around noon, I started feeling the baby move less and because I knew the risk factors for cholestasis and that baby could meet his demise very quickly, I started to get a little worried. Nancy must have sensed it. Ha. She sent me a text asking if I was okay. I told her that the contractions have slowed, but that I was starting to worry some because I felt less movement from the baby. She asked if I wanted to come there to be checked. The answer was that I didn't. But I didn't tell her that at the time. I called Jeff and he was on his way home. I rested a bit.
Jeff got home and we all got ready to go, I grabbed my hospital bag just in case. Jeff loaded all the kids in the van. It was 10 minutes to 3pm before we left our house. We got to Nancy's and I went in while everyone else stayed in the car.
When I got in, Nancy let me know that she got my bile acid results back just a little bit prior to my arrival. She said that my levels were at a 15. She asked me what I wanted to do and if I still felt comfortable delivering at home or if I wanted to go to the hospital. I told her that since I was already in labor, that if the baby sounded okay and was moving like should, then I would just like to have him at home as planned. She checked the baby first. She spent a good amount of time checking for movement, accelerations and making sure he was reactive. He passed. He was also positioned well and ready to be born. She then checked my cervix. I was a stretchy 5. She had planned to strip my membranes, but that ended up not being really necessary. She let me know that she anticipated this baby was well on his way and that we needed to head straight home and she would be following close behind. She came to the car to let Jeff know that he should get me home quickly and safely because she anticipated that the baby would be coming soon. She told him not to dawdle. Haha. We did have to stop to get gas and traffic was ridiculous so we didn't get home until ten minutes to 6. On the way home, I had two really good contractions. And then as soon as I got out of the car, I was hit with another really good one. These were the strongest they'd been all day. I could tell that this was finally the real deal.
I got into the house and started getting things ready. Nancy got here about 10 minutes after us and by 6:30, I really started to labor for real. We finish setting things up and Nancy hands me a bead that she would have included at my blessingway, had she attended. She called it cloudy with a chance of birth. It was a beatiful purplish-bluish cloudy stone. I held onto that bead (I didn't have my necklace yet). the entire time I labored. Things started to get harder and harder and more and more painful. Nancy saw my banner and started reading some of the positive words/affirmations that people had written to me at my Mother's Blessing over the weekend. At this point I am pacing and then she has me kneel. She had talked about the possibility of breaking my water, but things were progressing so she didnt think it would be necessary. Each contraction was painful at this point. She saw that we had an exercise ball and asked if I wanted to kneel over the ball. That ball ended up being a huge blessing because it really helped my positioning. So I'm kneeling over the ball, Jeff is beside me, the kids are downstairs and Nancy is behind me. I asked how much longer they thought this was going to go on for. I looked at the clock, it was 7:03. Jeff said, he thought I'd have the baby by 7:25, but then he changed his guess to 7:15 and then second-guessed himself because he realized that it was already 7:03 and that was only 12 minutes away. So he changed his guess to 7:30. Nancy said I'd have the baby within an hour. I said there was no way I could continue like this for an hour and she tells me that of course I can, I'm doing it. And I am contracting hard at this point. The baby starts moving down, Nancy tells me that I'm doing great and that the baby is moving down. I told her I could feel him moving down and Jeff was like, "What? Really? You can tell he's moving down?" Nancy said that she could tell and I also told him that I could feel him moving down. It is kind of a wild experience. She reminded me to relax and to let him come down. For the first time in any of my births, I felt my water break. It was kind of a strange and almost calming experience- weird? I don't know... I mean, don't get me wrong, I was in pain- but to feel my water break during this painful experience was just neat to me, like it was what was supposed to happen, and I'm glad that I got to experience it.
After another contraction or two, Nancy then asked me if I could come sit on the birthing stool and that's when things really got serious. I did not want to move. But I had to, I did and as I did, I started panicking... and for some reason, I panicked like I had never in any of my births before. I didn't want to sit down, it was hard to relax. I looked up at the banner in front of me. I said, I couldn't do this. I couldn't do it. It was too hard. I'm breathing fast, panicky. Nancy looked at me and told me to look at her... she drew my attention to her eyes, she grounded me. She told me that now was not the time to panic, that I could do this, that I was doing this, that I am strong. And then it was time to push. The first push was soooo hard! I hear Jeff tell the kids to shut the door. They were on my left side peering into the room with the door slightly ajar. I hadn't even been aware that they were there until Jeff asked them to shut the door. Jeff knew how hard this was for me and how I appreciate my modesty so as he is behind me and I'm nestled into him and bearing down, he tries to get them to leave. I look over, suddenly aware of my surroundings and let them know that he's coming and when he's born we'll let them know by ringing the bell. But I don't think they ever actually left. A contraction was coming, my focus was shifted back to the task at hand, I had to push. It felt like his head was never going to be born. It was terribly difficult. I didn't know how I'd power through. Nancy told me to focus on her and that I could do this, I was strong and capable, I was doing it afterall. She calmly told me to let him come. He was coming, let him come. I pushed and his head finally came out. I pushed again and his shoulders came and this body just kind of bubbled out. Phew! Baby was born at 7:18pm and handed to me. He was perfect. A good sized, beautiful baby boy covered in vernix. I held him, the kids were so eager to see him. I had to birth the placenta still after a few minutes. That parts never fun. But after holding my sweet boy for a bit, I pushed out the placenta.
I got comfortable on the bed and held my sweet little boy on my chest. There was no keeping the kids out at this point. I had them ring the bell anyway to announce his arrival. Everyone was eager to see him. Nancy looked him over and he looked good. I got to try nursing him some, he seemed to latch okay.
After a little bonding time, she weighed him and took his measurements. Baby boy weighed 8lbs 6oz was 21 inches long. He was our second biggest baby. I was able to take an herbal bath, which is always so relaxing for me, while Jeff held baby boy. The older kids kept coming in while I was trying to relax and I was finally able to convince them to allow me just a few minutes of quiet. Noah really wanted to get in the bath so I let him for a few minutes.
Nancy, as usual helped to make sure my needs were met. She made sure I was hydrated, had some protein, clean and comfortable. She checked my blood pressure which was great. She cleaned up and did the laundry. After a little while, she left and we all nestled in together with our new little perfect, round faced baby boy. It's safe to say everyone was in love from the start.
It's always amazing to me how that works out. How you can feel so much love for a little person you just barely met. But I did, we all did and still do. He is just the sweetest little caboose to our family.
Please enjoy the following photos:
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| Labor Day! |
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| Adoring his new baby brother. |
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| Counting fingers |
The following photos are taken with my camera.
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| Caleb took this one. |
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| Herb bath |
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| Caleb also took this. |
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| The banner made from the positive words/affirmations at my Mother's Blessing |
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| I love those little peek-a-boo feet. Such sweet little toesies under those peaceful, kind, loving words that helped to bring peace and support to his birth. |
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| Oliver's eyes are closed on purpose. Haha! |
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| I love those little bubbles. |
