Jeff, DeAnna and The Littles: July 2018

* I wrote this 10 months ago, but am just now getting around to publish it. I'm sorry I’ve waited so long. Better late, than never, right?*

It's been two months since little Noah was born and I am just now getting around to writing his birth story. I've thought about it often and have shared it verbally with others, hopefully I can remember as many details as possible.

On the afternoon of Friday, July 14th. I get a text from my sister-in-law, Michele telling me that her daughter born just three weeks prior wanted to meet her new cousin. I told her it didn't seem like that would be happening anytime soon. And it didn't. The night before, though, I was definitely nesting. I had scrubbed walls, pulled out the stove to clean under and behind it and cleaned the bathrooms. But still, it didn't seem like this baby was ready to make his arrival just yet. I had had an appointment on that Wednesday before and told Nancy, my wonderful midwife, that I hoped to have the baby that weekend.

Well, in the early morning hours, I started to have some mild contractions, like really mild, but since Oliver came so quickly and I didn't really have any pre-labor with him, I decided to give Nancy a call. We agreed that this probably wasn't it and even if it was, because the contractions were like ten minutes apart and they weren't very painful that Nancy could wait. She told me to call her back if they became more frequent or more intense and to try and get some rest. I 'tried' to get rest but ended up making my birth tea instead. The contractions started coming more regularly and we're getting slightly more intense. Jeff came down to check on me and we timed the contractions. I had three at least every three minutes. So I called Nancy back around 5:45am.This time, she decided that since they were more regular, she'd come. This is after she asked me what I thought. I had no idea what to think and since I was so unsure of how my body was going to respond in labor and what it was doing then, she figured it would be a good idea to come.

Now, let me back up a little. I had plans for this day. I was planning to get up early and take Adelaide to breakfast at IHOP because I wanted to have some one-on-one time with her before the baby was born. After breakfast, we were going to head to the grocery store because we were nearly out of groceries. Then afterwards, my sister Ashley was going to bring my niece over to hang out while she, her daughters, my other sisters and Jeff went to Kings Dominion. So I had plans and having a baby didn't align with those plans.

Okay, back to the story. I sent Nancy a text at 6:34 to let her know that the contractions had slowed down, but that other signs of labor were beginning. I figured she must have already been on her way though and was probably close. Jeff also gave me a blessing to help the labor and birthing process.

Nancy arrived just before 7. She wanted to check me so I had everyone leave my room. I was dilated to about 5 cm. And she said she couldn't leave at that point. The contractions were pretty slow and I just didn't know what to do with myself. Like I had one in thirty minutes- at least that I could feel. It was ridiculous and I felt so bad for calling Nancy and having her drive all the way to my home. Nancy did an amazing job helping me to not feel guilty and to just accept it as it was. I also felt bad for having to tell my sisters that today's plans were thwarted. Nancy felt that I wasn't allowing my body to progress the way it needed to because I felt bad about all of the plans being changed for me and my family. Again, I just needed to accept that that wasn't in the cards for today and not feel guilty about "messing up" my sisters' plans. I sent a text around 8:30 to let them know that we were probably having a baby today. They were excited and joked about bringing Miyah over still and having Jeff go to Kings Dominion still since it seemed like it would be awhile.

I did a lot of pacing back and forth while Nancy gathered her things and prepared the birth space. I helped her make my bed up. The contractions were like 10-30 minutes apart. Nancy wanted me to climb the stairs. She modeled for me to start at the bottom and step up two steps at a time and then back down again. I did this several times. Then, I vacuumed the stairs. I talked to Nancy and she suggested doing a walk up and down the driveway. I walked with Adelaide as my partner some and then Oliver came and joined me, except that he wanted me to carry him. So I carried Oliver, with Adelaide by my side, up and down the driveway a couple of times. I did have one good contraction at the top of the driveway, but not much else. I finished my walk at about 8:40.

Nancy had me drink some of my birth tea so I filled up my cup and stayed hydrated with that. Nancy just told me to pretend like she wasn't there and she quietly read, while I proverbially fiddled my thumbs. Earlier in the week, Oliver peed in his car seat and though I washed the cover I hadn’t yet put it on the car seat. So I decided to do that while Jeff entertained the kids. I sat low and quiet and put the car seat cover on in the quiet of the garage. I did have a couple of contractions while doing that. Afterwards, I asked Nancy if she could check me again in an hour- so at about 10:30. Then Jeff and the kids and I played Uno to help pass the time and to entertain the kids. It was about 9:30 at this point. We played Uno. The kids got a little restless, but calmed down while we continued to play. I went back upstairs to Nancy. She checked me and I was about a "stretchy 7, almost an 8". She decided to try to do some pressure points. She said she was hoping that I'd have a contraction and then another in five minutes. I had one after 12 minutes. She continued the pressure points and I had another after ten minutes. My body was just being so stubborn. Slow, barely painful contractions.

She asked me what I wanted to do and, of course, I had no idea. She said we could try a birth drink or she could break my water. I was hesitant to do either. I asked if we could wait an hour and then she could break my water. She agreed. She asked me why I was hesitant. At first, I said I wasn't sure. But then I had a contraction and I realized that I was afraid of the pain. So I told her that was what it was. And it was eye-opening. I'm glad she asked. I knew that I trusted Nancy and her judgement. I trusted my body, even though it seemed like it wasn't doing much to have this baby. But when I realized that it was the pain that I was afraid of, it helped me to feel better about my decision to have her break my water. Afterall, the pain was going to come and the baby was going to come anyway. The reason Nancy felt like it would be a good idea to break my water is because when she checked me, she could tell that the bag of waters is what was on my cervix and there was only so much that that could do to help me progress. She could tell the baby had dropped, she could feel that he had hair. And when I pushed on my abdomen as she checked on him, she could just feel him bouncing there. She guessed that he was on the smaller end and his head just couldn't get there to put the pressure on my cervix. So breaking my water would help all of that. (Side note: I really didn't think he would be a small baby because I had gained so much weight, but I trusted Nancy's judgement and figured that even if she was wrong about his size, she was right about his head not being able to dilate my cervix due to the waters being in the way).

So at about 11:35, Nancy broke my water. Afterwards, I asked if I could take a shower. In the shower, I finally started to get more intense contractions. They weren't unbearable, but definitely started to make some progress. I took a nice, long shower. Nancy came and checked on me to make sure I was okay. I continued to shower. When I got out of the shower, I asked if I could use the bathroom. Of course, Nancy said I could. I sat on the toilet and had more contractions. Nancy checked on me again, but recognized my need for privacy. But then she came in and knelt in front of me and was a patient guide for me through these contractions. They weren't the worse thing ever, but they were growing in intensity and frequency. I was shaking my legs on the toilet and was laughing through the contractions. Nancy commented that it was strange to watch me laugh through the contractions. Jeff commented that I do that when I get nervous. He also told her that I sometimes get itchy when I'm nervous, too. Finally, I felt ready to get off of the toilet.

My contractions continued and I paced the floor. Some contractions were harder than others, but they didn't last very long and some weren't so hard at all. For the harder ones, I wanted to stop pacing, but Nancy encouraged me to walk through them. I told her that I didn't want to, but as I did, I realized that it actually helped. I continued to walk through the contractions and then Nancy asked if I was ready to switch positions. I was, so I knelt by my bed. Nancy asked if I wanted to try the heating pad on my back. I thought that sounded like a great idea, so she put it on my lower back as I knelt over the bed. Jeff sat in a chair across from the bed. As long as I could see him and meet his eyes, I felt safe. Just prior to this, he had made the kids some lunch and they were downstairs. Oliver stayed upstairs for most of this. Nancy coached me through these contractions. I had five or six really good ones now. At one point, I looked up to find Jeff and I couldn't see him. I had a quick moment of internal panic, but then saw that he was videoing me. Ha! I had a couple more hard contractions. (Only five or six in total on my knees by the bed- just to be clear). Nancy, quietly encouraging me through them as she rubbed my back and kept the heating pad on me.

Then after the last hard one (and I was even able to laugh during a couple of the first of these hard ones), Nancy asked if I was ready to get on the birthing stool. She had let me know that the baby had really moved down. I sat down on the birthing stool with Jeff behind me giving me support. And after a contraction, it was time to push. Nancy let me know that there was a tiny little lip of cervix left, but I was ready to push and she said I could. This was the most painful part of the whole labor. I was a little aware of Oliver there, but I could not help myself. I'm sure the sounds coming from me were maybe hard for him or confusing. I tried to remember to go deep and bear it. Two good pushes, though and that sweet little baby was born. Nancy and Jeff were encouraging. And Nancy put the sweet, purple baby in my arms. She commented on how little he was, definitely smaller than my others. (She was right, small baby). She and Jeff helped me take my gown off so I could do skin to skin. Jeff told Oliver to go get Caleb and Adelaide. The baby didn't cry right away, she kept rubbing his back. She had me switch him to a different position. And then he let out a cry. Oh that sweet sound. And, I didn't even know, but she videoed just a bit and we have that cry on video. I love it! It was beautiful. My husband supporting me from behind and all of my children surrounding us. Just a wonderful moment. I was overwhelmed with joy and love. After holding him for a minute And after delivering the placenta, not bad at all, Nancy helped me get into bed where I held the sweet baby on my chest. She said when he was ready to nurse, he'd start moving his legs. So I held him and all looked and waited their turn to hold him. We were all so immediately in love. After awhile, it was time to cut the umbilical cord. Caleb asked if he could cut the cord, so we asked Nancy and she said that it was fine with her. So she helped him cut the cord. What a neat experience for him.

Nancy drew an herbal bath for me. She helped me to the bath and helped me in. She checked on me a couple of times and gave me information that I needed about my health and the health of the baby. When I got out, I rinsed off quickly in the shower. And then I felt like I was going to pass out. She had been making sure I was drinking plenty and wanted me to eat. I had some nuts and a banana and lots of Gatorade that she got for me.

Noah was born at 1:50 pm after 8 hours of labor. My labor with him was so easy and perfect. I felt bad and it took me a little while to get over the fact that things weren't going as I had expected and that I called Nancy so early. However, everything happened as it should have. I'm grateful that things were easy. It really allowed for Jeff to be able to tend to the children as needed and also tend to my needs as needed. He did a great job dividing his time and being present for all of us. He kept family in the loop of what was happening, too.

Noah weighed 6lbs and 10 ounces. He was 20 inches long.

It was another wonderful homebirth experience. I am incredibly grateful for the patience and love of my amazing, attentive and intuitive midwife, Nancy. I'm also incredibly grateful for her knowledge and for the trust that we had for each other during this whole process. It was not how I pictured things going, but it didn't make it any less beautiful. The kids did such a nice job that day. They weren't extra needy and were curious and respectful of me and the laboring/ birthing process.. I was able to spend time with them and I remember being consciously aware when Adelaide came up at one point while I was contracting and telling myself that I had to be strong for her. I didn't want this to be a scary experience for her. I loved having them home. I felt strong and powerful and brave. But I also felt vulnerable and reliant on Nancy, my husband and God. And when all was said and done, I was just filled with love and gratitude for all.

Here are some pictures from that day and the week following:

Friday, July 14, 2017- the day before he was born.

A's wearing Christmas pjs in the middle of July and
O has only underwear. Luckily, we live in the country. Haha.

I debated and debated on whether or not to share these next few. Ultimately, I decided to share them. Normally, I am a pretty modest person, but of course, this is what having a baby sometimes looks like.