Back to Work

Well, tomorrow's the day... and I am sad.

I have really enjoyed these past weeks getting to know my little fella. I've enjoyed spending all of the time that I wanted with him, holding him while he sleeps, taking walks with him, putting him in the Moby wrap while I washed dishes, talking to him, watching him develop, discover with widened eyes new sights and sounds. I've enjoyed singing to him, dancing with him, reading stories, scriptures, magazine articles to him. I love listening to his funny noises. I've enjoyed falling asleep with him in my arms on the recliner or sofa in the late morning or early afternoon hours. I've enjoyed venturing to doctors appointments and stores with him, not once getting out of the house exactly when I hoped to. I have enjoyed watching people as they dote on my baby boy. I haven't always enjoyed getting up in the middle of the night to change a dirty diaper or feed him (but only because of sheer exhaustion), I've not enjoyed watching him suffer through the pain of a gassy tummy or acid reflux, but I do like being the one to comfort him. I really have tried to take advantage of all of the hours, minutes and seconds that I had with him each day- and I still will, though those hours, minutes and seconds will be substantially less. I will return to work tomorrow. I am having a really hard time with this- with going back to work. I don't think I have ever been so torn as I am now. Wee bit will be with his grandmother and I am sure she will take fine care of him, but I want to be the one taking care of him.

Today, I went to my postpartum appointment and the midwife asked about sleeping and eating habits, out of curiosity. I told her that we co-sleep... her suggestion was to get him out of our bed by 3 to 6 months, or else it will be harder to get him out of bed in the long run. The thing is though, that I enjoy having him sleep in my bed with me. I like having him close and especially now- now that I have to return to work- I'm going to want him close to me as much as I can. I will want to especially cherish each moment that I have with him.

Tomorrow, I am sure will be filled with tears and a little anxiety as I leave my baby with a babysitter for the first time. I hope the day goes by quickly. Wish me luck. : /

Now, I must get all the rest I can get. I managed to get up at 6 this morning- tomorrow and every work day after, I will need to get up no later than 5. Oy veh!

P.S. I will say though, that I am glad I am starting on a Friday- and that I can sort of ease into work, rather than starting on a Monday. Again, wish me luck.

Tummy Time and Rolling Over

So we did tummy time this morning and the wee one rolled over for the first time... now I know it was just accidental- he would probably consider himself lucky since he gets tired of tummy time pretty quickly. Anyway, I happened to be recording him when he rolled over- so I consider myself lucky. :)

Rolling Over from deanna calton on Vimeo.

Wee One Laughing

My poor fella has been suffering with acid reflux. It is so sad t watch him be so uncomfortable. He doesn't cry too much, which I am grateful for. I mean, he does cry sometimes and he does let out cries sometimes, but he is usually easily consoled. A true blessing. He does however grunt and moan often. He also sounds like a dolphin sometimes as he struggles. He doesn't spit up very often, but rather it comes up and he swallows it back down. He has a hard time sleeping and at night, it's really challenging because I don't sleep either. Sometimes he sounds like he is choking and he ends up coughing... even if he is upright. Oh it's so sad to watch and listen to. Poor guy. We went to the pediatrician yesterday morning and she said she thinks it's silent reflux. We're trying Zantac right now (which I think she gave him kind of a high dose). The first time I gave it to him, we waited 15 minutes before he ate, which was hard because he hadn't eaten in awhile and was really hungry... but after he ate, he spit up and spit up and spit up. He spits up sometimes, but never as much as he did then. He even spit up an hour later. And he let out a couple of cries in pain as well. So, instead of seeming to help, it seemed to make things worse. Last night, when I gave him his second dose, he didn't spit up after eating (we waited thirty minutes to eat). Maybe it just takes a little while for his body to get used to. Currently, we are sitting in the living room. He's in his swing. He's not even 5:30 am. I brought him in here after nursing him at 3:30 to see if the swing would help settle his stomach. It didn't really seem to help, but at least he is upright, I guess. Then, about 30 minutes later, he was able to sleep really soundly for about 30 minutes. Now, the reflux has been bothering him again for at least 30 minutes. I was going to try to get some sleep- but how can I do that when he starts groaning and grunting and writhing (still sleeping, mind you- at least his eyes are closed) and then swallowing, sounding like a mix between a chipmunk and a dolphin, and then coughing and grunting and moaning some more. Hopefully, it'll stop soon and we'll be able to get some sleep again before we must start our day.

Anyway, so on Monday, I took a couple of videos to show the doctor when we went in yesterday. I wanted her to see what he was doing- whether he's awake or asleep. In one of the videos he started laughing and it is just the cutest thing ever. I look forward to when I can get him to laugh, but for now I'll take what I can get. I hope the video works!! :) Enjoy the clip! :)