I have really enjoyed these past weeks getting to know my little fella. I've enjoyed spending all of the time that I wanted with him, holding him while he sleeps, taking walks with him, putting him in the Moby wrap while I washed dishes, talking to him, watching him develop, discover with widened eyes new sights and sounds. I've enjoyed singing to him, dancing with him, reading stories, scriptures, magazine articles to him. I love listening to his funny noises. I've enjoyed falling asleep with him in my arms on the recliner or sofa in the late morning or early afternoon hours. I've enjoyed venturing to doctors appointments and stores with him, not once getting out of the house exactly when I hoped to. I have enjoyed watching people as they dote on my baby boy. I haven't always enjoyed getting up in the middle of the night to change a dirty diaper or feed him (but only because of sheer exhaustion), I've not enjoyed watching him suffer through the pain of a gassy tummy or acid reflux, but I do like being the one to comfort him. I really have tried to take advantage of all of the hours, minutes and seconds that I had with him each day- and I still will, though those hours, minutes and seconds will be substantially less. I will return to work tomorrow. I am having a really hard time with this- with going back to work. I don't think I have ever been so torn as I am now. Wee bit will be with his grandmother and I am sure she will take fine care of him, but I want to be the one taking care of him.
Today, I went to my postpartum appointment and the midwife asked about sleeping and eating habits, out of curiosity. I told her that we co-sleep... her suggestion was to get him out of our bed by 3 to 6 months, or else it will be harder to get him out of bed in the long run. The thing is though, that I enjoy having him sleep in my bed with me. I like having him close and especially now- now that I have to return to work- I'm going to want him close to me as much as I can. I will want to especially cherish each moment that I have with him.
Tomorrow, I am sure will be filled with tears and a little anxiety as I leave my baby with a babysitter for the first time. I hope the day goes by quickly. Wish me luck. : /
Now, I must get all the rest I can get. I managed to get up at 6 this morning- tomorrow and every work day after, I will need to get up no later than 5. Oy veh!
P.S. I will say though, that I am glad I am starting on a Friday- and that I can sort of ease into work, rather than starting on a Monday. Again, wish me luck.
My experience with co-sleeping was different than your midwife suggests. I co-slept with all of my kids until they started crawling out of the bed and making mischief in the night - for Esme that wasn't until around 18 months, for Ada and Eila that was around 12 months. It was no big deal switching from co-sleeping to separate beds. Just follow your heart - you'll know what is best for your baby! Big hugs to you for tomorrow - I know just how hard that can be.
ReplyDeleteDeAnna, we have co-slept with all of our children and have loved it. As with most things you'll do as a parent, there is always a transition time. Whether it's at three months or 12 months or 2 years or whenever.... follow your heart and what feels right. Co-sleeping is such a special time for all three of you... do what feels right for YOU, because EVERYBODY has an opinion and most opinions differ in some way or another. Good luck with returning to work. I can imagine that would be incredibly difficult! What a blessing he gets to be with grandma though... I'm sure that brings peace in the midst of the frustration.
ReplyDeleteHey DeAnna--if you're interested check out www.liasophia.com/anikaadams. It's what I do to help my family financially (plus other personal benefits). It's been a huge blessing for me because I can help my family but I never have to miss those moments. I work when I want to. I don't have to rush, ask time off or miss those sweet moments. There are other benefits, but I think that's the one I appreciate the most. I get to be a stay-at-home mom...and I earn money for my family. I'm so grateful for that.
ReplyDeleteI have co-slept all of my little ones and moved them off to their own beds at different ages depending on their needs (4mos-9mos); I think it's easier to move them to a seperate bed in your room first and then to a bed in another room later. Wishing you luck with work and the baby--I know it will be hard on you, but he'll be in good hands; we'll be praying for ya gal!
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