Dr. Appointment Joys and Frustration

Yesterday after work, I headed towards home for a dr. appointment. I was so excited to go to the doctor and to hear my baby's heart beat. I had been feeling anxious and just needed the reassurance that everything was okay. And, so far everything is okay. When I got there, I had to pee in a cup of course, and boy was I ever grateful. And then I had to stand on a scale. In all honesty, I really thought the scale was broken. I weighed more than I ever had before. I'm sure I should come to expect that at some point, but I seriously just weighed myself a couple of days ago and did not weigh that much. So, I told the nurse that I thought the scale was off. She assured me that it wasn't.

Afterwards, I met with the doctor. She checked my belly, told me my uturus was in the right place (I have no idea how she knows that from feeling my belly... I've been trying to figure it out) and we listened to the heart beat. It took a little time for her to find it, but she did- the baby was moving a bit, I suppose. It was such a relief to hear that precious dub- dub. She said it sounded great. Then, I told her I had a ton of questions to ask her. I asked her all of my questions and finally, she told me that she didn't think their practice would be a good fit for me. I felt so discouraged. What am I to do now. Partially, I feel like I should just give up... it's so much easier to just go through a traditional hospital birth, but partially, I want to fight my cause. I don't want to deliver my baby laying on my back, feet up in stirrups. Is that strange? And, I would like to have my OB, the person I'd been seeing throughout my pregnancy, deliver my baby, not one of 10 other physicians whom I've never met- is that so wrong? I want to have a natural birth (and yes, I understand that sometimes that isn't possible and I am preparing myself for that as well- but if I can, I really would like to go naturally). Anyway, it was so discouraging... and maybe because the doctor wasn't use to hearing those kinds of questions and maybe because she was stuffed up, she seemed pretty annoyed with me by the end. Gah! I hate leaving negative impressions of myself on people. Anyway, so now... I am just not sure what to do.

Anyway, this morning, I decided to weigh myself- the doctor's scale wasn't off. :/ I really did gain four/five pounds in like two days. And, when I got dressed this morning I had a really, really hard time finding anything to wear. It was a bit frustrating. Guess this just means I get to do some more shopping. :)

Okay, I am switching topics really quickly... so I feel like Heavenly Father has really blessed me throughout this pregnancy so far. For one, I have not had any morning sickness. I've only vomited once when Jeff burped (I couldn't -and still can't for that matter- stand the sound) and several times while brushing my teeth. I'm getting better at brushing without gagging though. I feel really blessed with being able to stomach most food... though there isn't much that I like to eat. I go through phases- last week it was Arby's Roast beef and cheddar sandwiches and Reece's puffs cereal. This week, I haven't had any desire at all for Arby's. One day I like one thing... and then the next, I can't stand it. I feel like if I eat it, it will make me vomit. It's so peculiar. I am so exhausted all of the time as well. They say that once you get into your second trimester, you usually get an energy boost. Well, I guess I am not one of those lucky people. I cannot even explain how tired I am- it's like nothing I've ever experienced and it certainly doesn't help that I am working full-time and taking four classes this semester. So those are my basic symptoms- though recently, I've started feeling some pelvic pain (I guess that's what it is).

I kind of feel like I am rambling here, but I also want to mention this: I have felt the baby move!! It's the most amazing feeling. I first felt it on Saturday, but seeing as how I've never felt a baby move inside of me before, I really wasn't sure. Then, I didn't really feel it on Sunday. On Monday, I was really stressed out and worried about my little one and while I was sitting in class, I could feel it move. I knew then, that it was definitely the baby and I was so grateful. And I've felt it a couple of times since. I can't wait until Jeff can feel it :) It is so amazing- literally awesome. And it fills me with such joy. There really is a living thing inside of me right now. I love it. I love this whole experience and can't believe that I get to do this. And, I can't wait to be a mom- though I still have a lot of preparation before this baby comes.

We get to find out what we're having on February 10th- so stay tuned!! :)

Man, I really need to work on my posture... for the next photo, I will...maybe... if I remember. haha... I was too tired to try to get a better self-portrait of myself. Anyway, this is tonight at 18 and a half weeks. :)