Just so you know, last night, went much better. It took Caleb about 40 minutes to go to sleep- earlier than the night before. And he slept for four hours, then woke up, nursed and slept for another three hours. He then woke up and was awake for about an hour and a half- but this time, he was happy. He sat up in the bed, grabbed my face a couple of times. I would look at him, not say anything, but smile and he would smile back at me. I then decided to just close my eyes and then I'd open them and see that he was staring at me. Eventually, he lay down beside me and put his arm on my chest (oh so precious). He would sit up again, lay back down, curl up and snuggle beside me. This continued for awhile. Finally, I decided to nurse him and when I did, he eagerly ate and then we both fell asleep and slept for another three hours. Even though he still woke up and stayed up for a little while last night, it was okay. I am glad I was able to get bursts of sleep for three hours at a time. And this morning, we both woke up in fabulous moods.
He took two 45-minute naps today. Not ideal, but much better than his fifteen minute naps yesterday.
Tonight, it did take him awhile to settle down, but he is settled down now and wasn't asleep when we left his room. Things are starting to look up.
So, per your suggestions, we are going to try a couple of new things and I will update as we continue to work on sleep habits. This has definitely been something that we've been working on for a very long time, he's never been a fabulous sleeper- but sometimes it gets kind of crazy. We've tried numerous things, and nothing has worked yet, so the suggestions have been fabulous because they've given me new ideas (and hope, and it's nice to know that others have had to try lots of different things, too). I've been working on a daytime routine to help with nap times, which has been helping and I was hoping it would transfer to the evening. We also have a schedule in place for night time, but we do not always start at the same time nor do we always do things in the same order- though we do the same things each night (bath or lotion, pjs, scriptures, singing, prayer). Maybe it really is important for Caleb to have a more rigid routine to help cue him to sleep.
Anyway, Jeff and I talked tonight a little about what we can do with our nighttime routine to help Caleb sleep. And we will incorporate some of the other suggestions and hopefully, something will work for us and help us all sleep better.
Again, I am so grateful for all of you and for your help and encouragement. Here's to sweet dreams!
So sorry that you are struggling with sleep - for both you and baby. It is rough! But also glad to hear that you are hopeful that things will change. And they will! Without knowing what other things were suggested, here are a few of mine to throw into the mix.
ReplyDeleteCry-it-out doesn't work for everyone or every baby. My husband was against it, so we did a soothe to sleep, but without holding or touching. I would feed Carsen, burp her, and then rock with her while humming until she got drowsy. Then I would put her down and then sit in the dark room with her, continuing to hum/sing until she was asleep, then I would sneak out once I knew she was really out. The first night it was like 25-30 minutes. But subsequent nights (and nap times too!) were much shorter. Once we got to like 5-10 minutes, I would sing/hum to her for a few minutes after putting her down and then slowly walk out of the room, finally shutting the door at the end of the song, not waiting until she was asleep. Ultimately what this is doing is allowing the child to settle and soothe themselves to sleep. After about a week or two of doing this for both nap and night time, we were able to put her in bed, sing a song once and leave with her awake and not have a problem because she was aware of what was going on and had the skills to put herself to sleep.
The benefit of teaching your child this is that it will help them in the night time as they have their normal sleep patterns and wake up, they won't have to have you help them get back to sleep with either food or soothing, they will just do it on their own. HEAVEN! But it takes time.
Carsen was about 9 months old when she started sleeping through the night. From about 6 months old she had just one waking during the night, and it gradually kept getting later and later (meaning going from 12 to 1 to 2 to 3, to eventually 4 am). Then she just stopped waking up in the night. Now she sleeps from about 8 pm to between 7-8 am each night. And very rarely does she wake up anymore. There are sill some nights where she wakes and cries for a minute, but then she settles herself back down and I don't have go get up.
So this is what Caleb needs to learn. The nice thing is that it doesn't have to be through crying and tears on both baby and mommy's part. It can be done with love and soothing. One thing that I think is pretty important though is that you really really really need to make sure that Jeff is involved in doing the soothing. Oftentimes mom's do the nighttime routine, especially when nursing. So if Caleb is resistant to soothing to sleep, make sure that Jeff is the one that goes to him instead of you. This is because Jeff can't feed him and Caleb knows that. So Jeff might have better luck putting him down with less of a fuss.
The other thing that you mentioned in the post is setting a routine. And even though you may not do everything at exactly the same time, that is OK as long as you are doing the same things. But children are built to follow a routine. It gives them a sense of security and enables them to trust the world around them. Do your very best to get Caleb to bed early every night (like 6:30 to 7 pm at the latest). Sleep begets more sleep, so the earlier you put him down, the more likely he is to sleep longer stretches. I understand that this may take away some of the time he gets to spend with daddy in the evening, but you have to think of what is more crucial right now - getting your child to sleep! As Caleb gets older, he will be able to stay awake a little later and make up for that lost daddy time in the evening.
Sorry this is so lengthy. But feel free to email me or message me on Facebook if you have any questions. Sleep is a wonderful thing and once you teach Caleb that, you will be so happy!
Sleep is definitely a precious commodity for young mommies. Leo didn't sleep through the night completely until he was 2 years old. Hopefully that won't be the case for you! Every child is different. I hope you can find some sleep!
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