Sweet Adelaide's Birth Story

 Sunday night (the 3rd), I started to have some contractions. They weren't intense or anything, but they were definitely contractions. They started to come more and more frequently, but didn't really increase in intensity. I attempted to go to sleep (Caleb was having a hard time sleeping) and slept for about an hour or so when I was just too uncomfortable. I got up and started cleaning. I folded and put some laundry away, swept the floor, straightened up the bathroom some. I told Jeff that I thought that I might be going into labor- this was at about 2 or 2:30 am. Then, I continued to clean/organize. I told Jeff I would take a shower and then perhaps we should call the midwife. So, I showered, then got dressed and called the midwife. While I was showering the contractions were about 3 minutes apart. Otherwise, they were between 3 and 5 minutes apart. My midwife called back and we decided I'd come in.

On the way to the hospital, the contractions slowed down considerably. They would increase if I was moving though, so once we started walking again, I continued to have regular contractions. I checked in at about 4:30 am. My midwife, Jennifer, checked to see how dilated I was. I was 95% effaced but only 3 centimeters dilated. To say I was disappointed would be an understatement. I thought for sure I was farther along than that. They had me stay on a monitor to monitor my contractions and the baby for 30 minutes. I didn't have very many contractions during that time and the baby didn't have much variability in movement/ heart rate so they had me drink and they watched again. The baby started to have more variability in her heart rate, which was good. They let me get up and walk around, so Jeff, Caleb and I walked the halls and stairs of the quiet hospital.

At about 6:30 Jennifer came and checked me again. I was not quite a 5. Still, I was upset- I had hoped that I would have progressed more. They put me back on the monitor and again, my contractions slowed considerably and baby showed only some slight variation. I was encouraged to eat a snack if I could and to drink plenty. Finally, I was able to get up and walk more, so I did. I walked and walked and continued to have regular contractions while moving about. I also got in the shower, per the nurse's suggestion to see if that would help- and it did seem to help some.

Eventually, the contractions got more and more intense, though there would be large breaks in between these contractions, even while in active labor- which was a bit of relief. Somehow, I continued to progress and I had hoped to have the baby by 2pm- though at around 12, that didn't seem likely to me.

We tried different positions to help my posterior baby move and to help relieve some of the back labor. The pain was all in my back, I didn't feel anything in the front at all. The pain would radiate into my hips and thighs. Jeff would squeeze my hips each time a contraction came, which helped a great deal. Then the nurse would massage my back or press into my lower back. It really did help a ton. This was while I was on my hands and knees. (By this time, Jeff's mother had come, brought breakfast and hung out with Caleb and my grandmother, Momma Jean had come and took over hanging out with Caleb). Finally, we decided that I would get into the tub.

Soon after I entered the tub, I pretty much hit transition. Jennifer said that she thought I was in transition, but I thought there was no way I was already in transition- given how slow my progress was (at least in my eyes), but in hindsight, she was right. Those next few centimeters came really quickly and the contractions were extremely intense and right on top of each other. There seemed to be no relief. Jeff would offer to squeeze my hips, but I just felt like I couldn't be touched. I agonized all by myself and felt completely alone, even though there were people in the room with me. It was incredible, incredible pain. The midwife checked again, at Jeff's request and I was about an 8. We talked about having my water broken to see if that would help. I waited just a little bit longer and then my midwife suggested that I get out of the tub. I didn't want to move because every time I moved at all, I would be hit with the most excruciating pain I had ever before experienced. But, I knew she was right. I got out, and went to the bathroom. I had three contractions back to back then. I called Jeff in there with me, mostly just for support. The midwife came in after she could tell that the contractions weren't really stopping, helped me clean up and she and Jeff helped me to the bed. The contractions continued. On the bed, we thought, maybe she could break my water then, but she checked and I was nearly a 10 already. Still she attempted, but the baby's head was in the way and a contraction was coming and I couldn't take it. She may have nicked the bag of waters some, but that was all she was able to do. It was okay though because I was just about ready to push.

One or two contractions after I was on the bed, it was time. I pushed and pushed and unlike Caleb's delivery, where the pushing was the best part and relieved all of my back labor, this was incredibly painful, due to my completely posterior baby. At one point, I could feel her whole body turn around and it was amazing, but so painful at the same time. Jennifer told me later that she watched her head turn. Eek! I continued to push and the baby's head came out and I was done. I said I couldn't push anymore. I just couldn't do it. I expected her whole body to just come out the way that Caleb's did. It didn't. Her shoulder's were stuck. Her head was turning purple. Jeff was scared. The nurse looked at me and told me that I had to PUSH! Jennifer instructed me to push and the nurse to assist by pressing on my lower abdomen, while they pulled on the baby's head. One more good push and the baby was out and in my arms- finally! I really only pushed for 5 minutes, but it felt like an eternity.

I got to see my sweet girl and hold her on my chest for a few minutes while they rubbed her down trying to get her to cry, which she did. The purple went away and she was a beautiful pink. Jeff cut the umbilical cord after a few minutes. Then they took her away to get her measurements and do the APGAR while I delivered the placenta. Jeff took pictures of his baby girl. They brought her back to me, laid her on my chest and she immediately started rooting so I nursed her. She latched on right away and has been a pro nurser ever since. She ended up nursing for about an hour, during which Jeff was longing to hold her. He didn't get to hold her for the first hour and a half, sadly. He went and got Caleb and we introduced Caleb to his new sister. Jeff held baby Adelaide and I had Caleb on the bed with me. After a few minutes, Jeff went and got Momma Jean and she held our sweet girl for awhile before she left and we got moved to another room upstairs.

This was a really hard labor for me. I know lots of women go through this every day and I can't compare myself to them. But for me, it was really hard. My morale was down, the pain was intense, the progress was slower than I had anticipated. I prayed constantly throughout the entire process and sometimes to no relief it seemed, though in my heart and mind I was begging. There were times when I felt completely alone. It wasn't the beautiful experience that I expected and that I had with Caleb. And I think that's part of it. I had all of these expectations. I had only Caleb's birth as a reference. Everyone had told me that usually the second labor/delivery is easier, that it goes quicker. Oh, but this wasn't. The first part of labor wasn't too bad, actually. There were some bigger breaks in contractions. I was able to hold myself together, despite being disappointed at the slow progress that I was making (though I did complain at the very beginning that I was only a 3- I just couldn't believe that). I was calm, collected and stoic as I experienced those earlier contractions- even in active labor. But once I hit transition, I felt embarrassed, I felt I had no control over my body, I felt more pain than I had ever experienced before- even Caleb's was easier and his was also natural. I felt like I couldn't do it anymore. I didn't want to do it anymore. Of course, everyone kept telling me that I was doing a good job and that I was doing it and that it would all work out. I heard those words, but at the time, they didn't mean much to me. At one point, my midwife- noticing how much pain I was in, asked if I wanted an epidural. She said she was only going to ask once, but wanted to ask just in case. I said no thanks. Part of me wonders exactly what it was that I was trying to accomplish. Did I feel the need to prove myself to anyone? to myself? I don't know. I am grateful that I didn't have the epidural, though at the time I just wish they could have cut my back open. :) I am grateful that I had this experience. It was hard, and I know this seems ridiculous, but even thinking about it now, writing about it now, has been cathartic for me. I didn't realize quite what an emotional experience this was. Even now, I feel ridiculous expressing how difficult it was. Yesterday, someone asked me how the labor was. Do you know what my answer was? I said it was terrible. Boy, I wish I could go back in time. Because if I could, I definitely would not have said that. It was hard, but it wasn't terrible. I did have a wonderful team there helping me. I really appreciated my nurses, especially the newer one. I loved my midwife. And Jeff was awesome. I just knew that though they were all there for me, they couldn't bare this pain that I experienced for me. Yes, an epidural would have made the pain bearable. But I was already committed to delivering my baby naturally. I wanted to feel it all- I just didn't want it to hurt as bad as it did. I've learned that no two experiences are the same. I wish I didn't have so many expectations. Maybe it would have been easier then.

Also, like Caleb's birth, during transition, in between those intense contractions, I did feel a bit of relief, like I wasn't even there, like I was in some far away place. That, to me, is a miracle. I am so grateful that I could somehow manage to escape for a few seconds at a time before that pain hit again. That part is beautiful. And holding my sweet, sweet baby girl in my arms for the very first time after such a hard experience was beautiful. It was beautiful and it was relieving and it was happy. And I am grateful for that. Seeing Caleb interact with his new baby sister was beautiful. Watching Jeff love his baby girl was beautiful. So all in all, I guess I can say that it was beautiful. It was hard, but it was beautiful.

Oh- Adelaide was born at 2:31pm on Monday, Feb. 4th, 2013. She weighed 7lbs. 14 1/2 oz. (but they rounded it up to 15oz.) She was 20 1/2 inches long.

Jeff and Caleb hanging out.

See? Smiling.

I was in love with these popsicles.. eating between contractions.

Thanks Jeff.

My first time seeing my baby girl.

Marveling.

I couldn't stop smiling at her.

First photo before Caleb came in.

Look at that little hand.

Jeff finally got to hold his baby girl. 

I didn't notice this picture until I posted it on facebook. I love the way Caleb is looking at me. He is so precious!

Our first family photo a couple of hours after sweet Adelaide was born (and yes, Caleb changed his shirt like 3 times throughout the course of the day).

Love.